The Dempsters

I have just realised how long it is since I last posted - oops! I am now in the situation where I don’t quite know what to say as so much has happened.

In a nutshell, firstly we went back to the UK for 10 days in April. We had a lovely time staying with Diesels parents and Emma, Marcus and Callum. The children both had a ball and Grace is still talking about her day out with Auntie Joan and Uncle Kevin. The weather was typically British and it was funny that although you would have thought we’d have been used to the cold after our minus 20 temperatures there is something about a grey, rainy day in Britain that gets right in your bones. Whilst it was nice to go back and see family arriving back in Canada really felt like coming home. Quite a relief for us really as we don’t know what we would have done if it hadn’t!!

After a wobbly week when we got back the children seem to have settled back in and are really enjoying our daily trips to the park and playing in the back garden. As ever I have big plans to finally get the back garden I have always dreamed of - unfortunately, as with most of my big ideas, it is only finances that hold me back! Still, we hope to at least get the garden levelled and re-turfed so that I can start to at least do some planting and maybe get some flowers this year.  Grace and Patrick are actually playing (fairly) well together these days and we are increasingly seeing a nurturing side to Grace where she looks out for him and tries to attend to his needs when he cries. Today that meant a whole bottle of apple juice on the kitchen floor as she managed to get the fridge open, get the bottle out, top off but was beaten by pouring it into the cup - whoops! Patricks language is coming on and he is turning into a ver sociable little boy. His favourite word is arrow (hello) which he uses when he is pretending to be on the phone, when he first sees you in the morning or when he meets new children at the park. He babbles constantly and will have a very earnest conversation with you only inches from your face - I would love to know what he is saying. He has got 2 molars recently so sleep has been a problem. When we got back from the UK we fell into the trap of taking him into the spare bed in the middle of the nigth if he wouldn’t settle. Miraculously he then slept straight away!!! Diesel seems to have cured him of that and we are trying to teach him that it is okay to go to sleep without Mummy being right there. It is a slow process but at least he goes into his cot now awake and doesn’t freak out.

Grace is actually very good at sleeping and apart from a few nights of stealth tactics, getting into our bed very quietly in the night, she sleeps through until a reasonable time in the morning. Whilst at home and with close friends she is a vibrant, chatty, confident child she still continues to struggle in groups situations and refuses to talk at nursery. She has her first soccer match on Sunday and Diesel is the coach of there team so I am interested to see how she is when he is around.

Well I should actually be working right now rather than updating this so I am going to crack on and try and upload our UK pictures tomorrow.

Patrick at 15 months is definately not a baby anymore. He is an active, strong willed, fun loving, daredevil and sometime defiant little boy. His walking skills have quickly progressed to running and he can also bend down and up again, dance, twirl in a circle and climb up (and down) from the couch and our bed. He is pretty fearless and will try and walk down the stairs if you don’t watch him. He seems to be pretty adaptable and has worked out that he needs to swing his legs around to dismount things properly. There are few photos of him at the moment without some sort of scrape or bump on his head and they are all down to climbing. This month saw his first fat lip after he climbed on Graces stool and then fell off face first. He cried initially but got over it much quicker than his mother did.

His 15 month check with the paed meant more injections (will they ever stop??). I am much better at dealing with Patrick having injections that I ever was, and still am, with Grace. I made her some stupid promise when she came out of hospital that she would have no more needles and obviously that was never going to happen. Patricks complaint is not so much the needle bit rather that you have to restrain him in order for the doctor to get it in.

His vital statistics are pretty impressive. 26.4 lbs so he maintains that 75th percentile, he has climbed to over the 90th percentile for his height and his head circumference is off the scale. To quote Dr Fath he is “very tall”  …… not just tall but VERY tall. I cannot tell you how excited that Diesel and I are to have a tall son - lets just hope it continues!! He is certainly a big lad and so this weekend has been all about buying him a new wardrobe. We also bought his first pair of shoes as our trip to the UK won’t require his snowboots. I must check what size Graces first shoes were but his are a 6, the ones we got for Grace were only a 7 1/2.

The other first this month was Patricks first haircut.

We took him to the same place that we take Grace and he was amazing. I’m sure it is a little more expensive than a regular hairdressers but Grace loves to go and so it saves me a headache. He just sat in the chair and played with his cars while the lady cut his hair and she even managed to use the clippers. Personally, I wasn’t too worried about his hair but Diesel was fixated on the fact that he had a mullet and so it had to go.

The bathtime meltdown has begun and so my 5 minutes is up! It is this time of night that pushes any ounce of patience that I may have left!!!!!!

A canadian negative is the absence of a 4 day weekend for Easter. The kids are off school om Easter monday but unfortunately Diesel isn’t. That aside it has been a great weekend. Not least because we have just received the news that Nik and Annie welcomed their firstborn Finlay ‘Finn’ Paul at 1.33pm today. Congratulations Nik and Annie - looks like the boys are making a comeback!!

One of the great things about Finn missing his first Easter morning was that he won’t have experienced the sugar rush that catapulted Grace and Patrick into orbit at about 2pm this afternoon. The Easter bunny was kind to the Dempsters and by the time they woke up this morning they already had an egg by their beds. As they came downstairs the Easter bunny had left a trail of footprints for each of them to follow. Patrick is familiar with Graces speed at getting what she wants and so rather than follow the trail he opted for the smash and grab approach. Whilst this was amusing for us to watch it wasn’t really an effective method as when all was finished not only had Grace got more things in her basket but she had also had the opportunity to cherry pick and swap for the best things.

Rather than stay home and face the inevitable meltdown we decided to visit the Maple Syrup Festival at Bronte Creek Provincial Park. We had a good time and I have to say that this year I even looked forward to the (still) strange combination of pancakes, sausage and syrup on one plate. Whilst it was very well done I would have to say that the festival at Mountsberg last year was better. Bronte seemed to be much more commercialised and lacked the olde world charm of Mountsberg. That said we will be getting a parks pass this year and it is great to have a Provincial Park right on your doorstep.

Off now for a Gin and Tonic to wet Finlays head x x x

Is sick again. This time he has an ear infection to add to the chest infection that seems to be his usual thing. More antibiotics and more puffers so we are all really keen for the summer to start. We signed Grace up to the Oakville Soccer club last week for the U4 league. She is already off the planet excited and it doesn’t start until May 17th. She practises most days and has already perfected her goal scoring celebration and we have to chant Catherines name when she plays. As you can imagine Diesel is very proud. I’m not sure whether Patrick will be able to go and watch as at the moment he likes to join in but hasn’t quite got the idea that he should be kicking the ball rather than throwing it. Maybe he will be a baseball player ….

In other news both Grace and Patrick are signed up to start school / nursery in September. Grace will start Junior Kindergarten 3 days a week starting at 8.10 !!!! My plan at the moment is to dress her the night before and then just steam iron her in the morning - either that or start getting her in training now! Patrick will go 2 mornings a week to where Grace goes now. I think it will be really good for him as he is still a total Mummys boy. He is quite keen on Daddy but given a choice will always come to me. I can’t say that I mind too much as I could be on fire as far as Grace is concerned when Diesel is in the room so I guess it evens things out a bit.

Both the children seem to be thriving. Grace is quite the comedian and had me howling with laughter yesterday. She loves an audience so the more you laugh the more she continues. Patrick is finding more words and this week likes to say Bye alot. To Daddy in the morning and then randomly to mummies and children at nursery drop off.

So we are at the end of another long weekend - isn’t Canada just great? Despite the fact that both Diesel and Patrick are sick (again!!) we had a lovely time. Saturday we went into Oakville to a lovely coffee shop for ice cream and hot chocolate and then despite the minus temperatures we went down to the lake shore to throw stones. We bought Patrick his first pair of snowboots on Saturday and his new found freedom was alot of fun to witness. If rather slow going at times as he wanted to explore everything. Both of them really love throwing stones in the lake and I am proud to report that Grace doesn’t throw like a girl but instead has a very competant overarm. Patrick is ever the mimic and will also attempt overarm although is not always successful. He did score a perfect hit in the bath last night though - much to Graces annoyance. Old Oakville is just lovely and really pretty with all of the snow on the ground, we sometimes have to pinch ourselves at just how nice it is where we live.

Sunday the weather was fairly nasty with icy rain and regular rain in equal measure. We didn’t make it outside ourselves as the roads and paths were like an ice rink but we did spend a very amusing half an hour watching various different people sliding up and down the road in their cars. Our consensus was that mini vans (and there drivers) coped the worst in the ice as none seemed to be able to maintain a straight line. The drivers were clearly in need of some skid pan training as most believed that putting down more power would get them out of the slide ………… hmmmm - luckily not too many cars met another one coming the other way as it would’ve been like watching dodgems! We took advantage of our day in to do some jobs around the house - mostly finish the project that is Graces bedroom. With Graces help (???!!!***??) I finished painting the wall and then stencilled some butterflies and flowers on the coordinating walls. We then had a good clean and rearranged the furniture and I am very impressed with the result. It has been over 24hrs and it is still tidy but the acid test will come tomorrow as her friend Freya is coming to play and between the 2 of them they can destroy a room in about 30 seconds!

 Today was officially family day so we went to a part of Toronto called The Beach as they had a petting zoo and some activities for the kids. It is an old victorian suburb and has some great old houses and a really nice vibe with coffee shops, funny little boutiques and some great restaurants. Clearly we don’t get to go to any of these things with the kids but we walk past and imagine and then take them to the boardwalk for an ice cream. On meeting a man dressed up in a dog costume the differences between our two children became really obvious. Grace is full of talk and happy to look at all of these characters from a distance but will rarely, if ever, allow them to touch her or come anywhere near her. Patrick is a completely different kettle of fish ……….. the ‘dog’ offered him a high five and he giggled and was happy to do it. We finished our visit with a trip to a sweet shop that sold british treats. Diesel got a Yorkie, I had some sport mix and Patrick got a finger of fudge. Grace clearly has left her british roots behind as she opted for some cotton candy. I was so excited about the choice of british treats that I have become concerned as to whether I will have some sort of meltdown when I am confronted with aisles worth in Tescos!!

Hardly a week goes by here without a local making a complementary remark to me about my car. It seems that Canadians find the idea of an Englishman driving a Mini a charming concept. It clearly resonates with some quaint view of all things English being miniature i.e. me and the mini. ‘Cute’ is the description most often attributed to the car which I must confess doesn’t sit all that comfortably with me and I can’t help thinking that people might be mistaking me for a hairdresser. I would prefer ‘sporty’ or ‘aggressive’ but I have to concede to their point when comparing the dimensions of the car to the majority of cruise liners that pass for personal transport on Canadian roads…and don’t even get me started about the road going mammoths south of the border. Still I am very fond of the car and both Grace and Patrick love to ride in it and it is a nice change for Tara from driving her bus. I also take a smug sense of satisfaction knowing that its fuel consumption is measured in mile to the gallon and not gallons to the mile like most of the 4 wheel drive monsters around me. Quite often a Canadian will compliment my choice of ‘cute’ car, make a remark about us both being English; which seemingly makes it even more ‘cutesy’ and then after an almost indiscernible pause will ask knowingly “How do you find it in the winter”? Until this week, I had found this a little odd “Fine” I would reply I never have any problems in winter. After yesterday I will be changing my response to “about as practical as barbed wire underpants”.  I will spare you all the minor details of how I managed to get my car stuck not once, but twice in snow drifts yesterday and will limit my description to the following facts.

 The floor pan of a mini is about 14 cm off the ground

Toronto received 40cm of snow fall in the last 48 hours (most of which fell on the roads I use on my way to work)

After 40 cm of snow fall it takes me 1 hr and 50 minutes to get the mini from our garage to the end of our driveway (it takes Tara 10 seconds in her car 3 seconds of which is spent waiting for the 4 wheel drive to engage)

Getting stuck in a snow drift outside your house on your way to work reminds you just how friendly Canadians are, as all the neighbours come out with shovels to help you out.

Getting stuck in a snow drift outside your house on your way home from work reminds you just how much Canadians like a good laugh as all the neighbours come out to make fun of you.

It is actually possible to get both front wheels off of the ground if you hit a snow bank at 15mph and it takes over an hour to dig the snow out from underneath the car.

In conclusion. Cute is not the first word that springs to my mind when knee deep in snow with the hazard lights on.

The whole family headed for Chicago this weekend to celebrate Mums birthday with a (sort of) surprise party. We were all really looking forward to being together as this would have been the first time since Patrick and Callum were born. Unfortunately, someone somewhere had decided that this was not to be and at no time did we all see each other. We arrived on Thursday after a long and tiring drive and then headed off to collect Emma, Marcus and Callum from the airport on Friday. En route my Mum called to say that she had spoken to Marcus, Callum was sick and could we take him straight to the ER. So off we went and sadly that was were he stayed for the whole weekend, only to be discharged on Monday to go back to the airport and get a flight home. He had suspected MSRA and it was quite upsetting for everyone not least poor little Callum as he had to endure the usual round of blood taking and IV drips. To top that we all came down with a stomach flu - Patrick on Saturday, Grace and Diesel Sunday morning and then Kelly and I Sunday night ……… as you can see, healthwise the whole thing was a disaster!

I am happy to say that somewhere in between we did manage to have a great party for Mum. We had caterers and a barman and the food was amazing. It was well worth doing as we didn’t have to worry about getting anyone a drink all night. Mum wasn’t surprised about the party as she had figured that out but was genuinely surprised about the caterers and it would be fair to say shocked when her friends from Holland arrived at the door. It was a great night despite all feeling sad about Emma, Marcus and Callum.

and thats about it really - so. The sleep is getting worse and Diesel and I are functionning on reserves that we didn’t even know we had. It won’t surprise you to read that Graces whining has reached mind blowing levels but even with my tired and irrational head on I can see that all of these things are connected. At least there is some light at the end of the tunnel (I think) as the cause of this sleep deprivation has been identified and Patrick has cut another tooth. Lets hope with some painkillers he will sleep a little better tonight. I hope so as professional Tara needs to make an appearance tomorrow and convince a new company why they need to pay her to write for them. I just hope I can remember who professional Tara is!

After a disasterous time last week when Diesel was away I have turned into tough Mummy again and decided that the time has come for Patrick to shape up and stop his nighttime shenanigans. Unfortunately, it is turning into a battle of wills and don’t tell him but right now he is winning by playing the sleep deprivation card.

He has slipped into waking up 2-3 times per night for a bottle and then going back to sleep. Rather than go straight from that to letting him cry it out we have decided on a stepped approach so from Sunday we have made him go cold turkey on the milk with nothing but water during the night. For the first night it seemed to go okay. He took the water (something Grace would never do) and although it took him longer to settle he eventually went back down.

Clearly, he then spent all of day 2 thinking up a plan to keep his edge so on night 2 he got up for good at 5.15am having already been up at 3am for his water. Yuck - maybe just a fluke but the night 3 (last night) up at 12am, 3am and then for good at 5.15am. As you can see its not going well. The problem for us is not just that we are then bone tired and irritable all day but that he then disrupts his day time napping so he is in a bad mood.  I cannot tell you how envious we are of those families that have people around to help at times like these ……………… anyway, I have a feeling that things will get worse before they get better as if he hasn’t improved by Friday night we will begin the controlled crying. Our weekend will be written off but at least Diesel and I can get some sleep in the day. Not much fun in the Dempster house this week - I look forward to a more cheery post next time xxx

So I’m talking to this chap in the checkout line and he casually mentions that he has just seen 2 coyote walking down the road about 3 blocks from my house. I was quite stunned and amazed. Apparently it is well known that they live in all of the ravines around here and whilst they wouldn’t go for a human they are quite keen on cats and small dogs. Diesel didn’t seem quite as amazed as me and likenned it to seeing foxes in the UK. All well and good but I haven’t seen many foxes that are grey, larger than a German shepherd and with a long pointy nose! When you get into these conversations about the local wildlife it hits you that we really do live in Canada!!